Tag Archives: Gratitude

Holiday Dilemma #1: To Barbie or Not to Barbie?

As the holiday shopping season kicks off I face a number of dilemmas.  For one, as a divorcee, there is an unspoken (usually) competition between myself and my daughters’ dad as to quantity and “quality” of gifts.

Of course I know it’s the thought that counts, and in theory, so do my girls.  But at ages 3 and 6, their thoughts tend to involve  Barbies, baby dolls, and computers.  Yes, my eldest is already asking for a laptop.  I avoided the Barbies and other gender stereotypical, capitalist toys for as long as possible, but at public school and even preschool it is impossible to avoid exposure to these pesky playthings.

I do my very best to buy educational, creative toys and lots of books.  They do enjoy them, but if I don’t give at least a couple of things that come in hot pink packages with a landfill full of packaging, than the holidays at my home will pale in comparison to Christmas at daddy’s.  It may sound petty or immature, but I’ve struggled with it for the past two seasons, and I simply must do it!  What kind of mom would I be if I censored their tastes and opinions entirely?

The six year old has taken on a very welcome love of music!  In that area, some censorship must be invoked for the sake of my household’s sanity.  I’ll compromise  on that one and buy her some Gwen Stefani (her favorite) and Lana Del Rey (my favorite) but forsake the Miley Cyrus at all costs.

So yes, I will give Mattel© a few (too many) bucks to bring a smile to my three year old’s face.  I’m not proud of it, but hey, it’s the (American) holiday spirit!

As for the laptop… I’m doing it, but smartly! A wonderful friend who happens to be a computer wizard  (aka geek) is going to refurbish my ancient iBook G4 for her needs.  As a volunteer in the computer lab at her school, I am amazed at how well first graders navigate these machines.  I plan to load hers up with the same  short cuts to programs used in school, plus some educational games.  Parental controls will be in full effect.  Since she is a very mellow first grader, I expect the system to last for quite some time.  All this for an overhead of about $60, plus I feel great that it is a recycled item not contributing to the pink cardboard landfill.

Please!  If anyone has any suggestions for gift ideas, particularly “girl rock and roll” music suited toward a six year old or dealing with being divorced at the holidays ~ comment here!

 

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Fostering Gratitude

During the wonderful holiday season children often get bombarded with presents. Are you pleading with your children to say please and thank you for the gifts they have received? Do you wonder if they really know what is means to feel appreciation and gratitude?

Let me ease your mind a little by saying that gratitude and appreciation are not always inherent qualities that children come into the world with. The good news is that gratitude is a trait that can be learned.

So how do we teach our children to be grateful? The best way to teach our children anything is by modeling it ourselves. Sometimes it helps to be a little overdramatic and really emphasize our thankfulness to make sure they notice. Kids are little mirrors of their parents and we have the power to teach them so much just by being the person that we want them to be.

Remembering to teach gratitude all year long and be consistent with it is the only way it will catch on. You can point out things daily to remind our children why we should be grateful.  Every day activities can become rituals of gratitude. For example giving thanks before eating, dressing, or even being together with our children are all opportunities to be grateful for.

Depending on how old your children are it can be a powerful experience to take them to do service work for the less fortunate. This is always a beautiful reality check, not just for our children, but for ourselves as well. Gratitude develops naturally when you realize that everything you have is not a given for everyone.  It is easy even for parents to forget that we are fortunate for so many things. It is important to constantly keep putting this into perspective.

During the holiday season we especially want our children to be grateful. The truth is that we need to practice it all year long in order to let is set in. With any wonderful value that we want our children to learn, we have to remember that it does take some effort on our part. Being mindful of ways that we can be thankful during the whole year can go a long way during the holidays!

Melissa is one of the Village’s resident Children’s Mental Health Experts.  Please feel free to email her relevant questions to be featured in a future article at experts@takesavillage.net.

Posted in Behavior, Gift Giving, Gratitude, Holidays, Manners, Parenting Advice, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments