That is, until it happens to you.

How widespread is international parental child abduction? You may be shocked to learn the anticipated numbers are highly disturbing: there may be as many as 125,000 American children and as much as 200,000 children residing in North America internationally abducted over the next decade. Even more troubling is that it is anticipated that only 10% of these kidnapped children will ever come home.  Globally, the international parental child abduction numbers appear to be more severe and widespread, particularly in Eastern Europe, Africa, and Asia.

What does 200,000 abducted children represent? Four professional baseball stadiums filled to capacity with innocent children suddenly disappearing. Or a human chain of children stretching from New York City to Washington, D.C. suddenly evaporating. Or 5,000 school buses filled with children taken. Gone forever.

Are you outraged? If so, you’re not alone.

You may be asking yourself what exactly is international parental child abduction?

The answer is simple, but the remedies are complex, confusing, extreme, and difficult to navigate, thus, why it is anticipated that only 10% of America’s and North America’s children will ever return home.  International parental child abduction occurs when one of a child’s parents illegally removes a child of a marriage or relationship out of the country without the other parent’s consent or court order, or, when a parent illegally detains a child in a foreign country without a court’s order or consent of the other parent. Under United States federal law, this act is also known as kidnapping as mandated by the International Parental Kidnapping Crimes Act. Additionally, every state has its own criminal laws that address this issue. Canadian and Mexican laws also make this a criminal act.

Now you may ask yourself, “Why isn’t anyone talking about this until now?” That answer is pretty straight forward: until now, there were no current reports that indicated the entire scope of abduction based upon the reported and unreported numbers.

Of course you might be asking yourself why would another parent do this?

Well, many published studies including published reports by the United States Department of State and the United States Department of Justice state the vast majority of IPCA cases that occur are well-planned, include the assistance of the intended abductor’s friends or family living abroad, nearly always catch the targeted parent off guard, and finally, and perhaps most disturbing of all is that the actual abduction occurs because the stealing parent uses the child as a pawn to cause harm and seek revenge against the child’s other parent.

Before I go any further, I think it important to share that men and women equally abduct at the same rate.

Do you think this can’t or won’t happen to you? Do you think that if it does it will be easy for you to legally reunite and bring your baby home?

Well according to the tens of thousands of parents who have had this horrific crime happen against them and their child, you better think again.

I speak from experience: trying to reunite with your abducted child is like running into the perfect storm – but it’s your child, so you know you’re going to race into the storm no matter what.

It was this vision that provided me with the title of my latest novel – Chasing The Cyclone - that addresses international parental child abduction.  Chasing The Cyclone is deeply inspired by my own experiences.  I am pleased to say that many top book critics have praised it as a spin-tingling international legal thriller, while other top critics have called it a book every loving parent should read.

Unquestionably, with such an incredible number of children at risk, something has to be done about international parental child abduction. So, being one of the fortunate parents who was able to reunite with my child under the rules of the Hague Convention, I have dedicated part of my time to raise society’s awareness of this grave issue while also playing a role in creating legislative initiatives and helping pass laws that will protect children and parents. Along the the way the I CARE Foundation has been able to help many parents either reunite with their kidnapped children or help other parents prevent the criminal international abduction of their child.

Obviously education and awareness are key, and I have been on a personal mission to increase awareness for other parents so you may be able to protect your own child or help some one you know protect theirs.  I mean, 200,000 children over the next 10 years out of North America represents the anticipated number of children who will be successfully internationally stolen. The number of targeted children is exponentially larger.  One of the ways that I have attempted to create awareness is by writing Chasing The Cyclone.

If you are a fan of legal thrillers that dart you across the globe . . . and if you love a good old fashion love story then I would like to suggest you consider picking up an e-book copy of Chasing The Cyclone (the hardcover book will be available in late June, 2012 wherever books are sold).  And so you know, I have and will continue to donate 100% of my e-book royalties to the I CARE Foundation.  In fact, I am pleased to say that these monies have helped reunite more than a few abducted children with their parents and created a few miracles.

And paying attention to the warning signs is critical. Please see a full list or Warning Signs and Risk Factors of IPCA I have provided on the official website of Chasing The Cyclone.   Please Click Here if an international parental child Abduction is in Progress.

Again, I am happy to share that I am donating 100% of my e-book author royalties earned from Chasing The Cyclone to the I CARE Foundation. The highly anticipated legal thriller is presently available on Amazon for Kindle readers and on Barnes & Noble for Nook readers, while the hardcover novel Chasing The Cyclone will be released wherever books are sold beginning in June, 2012.

Before nasal cleansing, I tried all kinds of natural solutions and even some quite chemical ones, nothing worked for long and all of the over the counter pharmaceuticals left me with ugly side effects.  Still, the best natural relief I’ve found is from my friend the neti.  I’m well aware of the recent controversy, but I personally am willing to continue using an ancient technique with a couple of isolated compications. I do however always use filtered water.

The way nasal irrigation works is quite simple.  It thins the mucus in your sinuses and flushes it out of your nasal passages.  Adding saline to the water used helps the cilia lining the nostrils and sinuses to coordinate their motion of pushing the mucus out of those areas.

I recently discovered Nasopure and had the pleasure of meeting its inventor, Dr. Hana Solomon. M.D. at this year’s Natural Products Expo in Anaheim.  Dr. Hana is a pediatrician who practiced medicine in a “mom and pop style clinic: for 18 years with her physician husband.  She is an advocate of preventative medicine and natural remedies, with a specific focus on nasal health.

Not only did the kind doctor offer up Nasopures for my daughters and me to try, but she also took her time and had a lengthy conversation with me on the topic of nasal cleansing.  Although due to being stuck on my old fashioned ceramic neti, I was hesitant to try Nasopure, Dr. Hana’s magnetic personality won me over (she’s quite the firecracker)!

My first inhibition was the material – plastic?!?  Upon reading Solomon’s book, Clearing the Air One Nose at a Time, I happily discovered that Nasopure bottles are made of a BPA free. safe, LDPE recyclable #4 plastic, free of leeching with no PVC.  Beyond care for the environment, Nasopure believes in community welfare also.  Their kits are assembled at our local sheltered workshop for disabled adults in Columbia, MO – Central Missouri Subcontracting Enterprises CMSE.

The main benefit I’ve noticed is that I can control the flow of the Nasopure better than the neti, and I don’t have to put my neck at an awkward angle.  The Nasopure is used completely upright, which makes it more comfortable and it’s shape allows for a total seal.  Nasopure is also undeniably easier to travel with.

I can’t count the times I’d wished that my allergy ridden, snot filled children would learn how to use a neti.  I hate giving them any kind of medication and they can be understandably miserable when congested.   After all, it’s a miserable feeling, one I don’t miss!  This technology makes it easy for a kid to try, especially when coupled with Dr. Hana’s book and/or instructional videos.  Although my 4 year old won’t yet go near it, my 6 year old is able to use the bottle herself and she definitely notices that it helps her – a big relief to both of us!

I highly recommend checking out the book as well.  It is full of useful information that goes above and beyond the health of your nose and sinuses.  For example, the natural tips to defeating an ear infection are so much more healthy than the antibiotics most doctors prescribe so liberally!  There is also a lot of great info for everyone from pregnant mothers to children to those with more “seasoned” noses.  The benefits for all walks of life are astounding!

Nasopure bottles are reasonably priced and widely available in North America and globally.  See their website to order or to find a brick and mortar location in your neighborhood.

Dr. Hana Solomon graced Takes a Village with a short interview, along with a discount for our readers.  Read on!

TAV: How does your product differ from a traditional neti pot?

Dr. Hana:

She laughs at my efforts of non-emotional discipline.  For example,  I tell her “when you hit me it makes me sad” or “hitting is not ok and it hurts”.  When I’ve  put her in time-out she laughs at that too.  When I look away and try to not acknowledge her bad behavior, she gets very upset and hits again, bites, or pulls my hair!  Is there another option besides an exorcism?  Please help!

Melissa:  It sounds like she is really testing her boundaries.  It is important to tell her that it makes you feel sad, but at the same time, and even more importantly, you need to lay down the law!

When she says that she doesn’t love you, you need to look her in the eyes, with mama lioness eyes, and tell her it is unacceptable to speak like this.  If she continues or starts hitting or kicking,you need to physically restrain her or move out of her reach.  Do not let her near you until the behavior stops.

If you are not home and cannot put her in her room, you can sit her on your lap and hold her legs with yours, hugging her arms so she can’t hit or kick you.  It is important to stay calm and give her definitive rules around this behavior.  Don’t play the victim or she will continue in the abusive/ victimizing role.

Get tough and draw boundaries.  Find your inner lioness!

In 1993 I moved to Houston Texas with a giant duffel bag full of clothes and a box of old comic books.  The first substantial purchase I made was a Nintendo, and the second one was a bicycle.  I’m proud to say that the latter saw a lot more use than the former.  My bicycle was a red mountain bike, nothing fancy, but I know for sure that I got my money’s worth out of it. It was sturdy, as heavy bikes often are, and I put a ridiculous number of miles on it over the course of six years.  Living in Houston and being broke allowed me to really appreciate the utility of a bike, the efficiency of working out and getting someplace at the same time, and the freedom of not being stuck in the massive daily freeway traffic jam in one of the smoggiest, most congested sprawls in the United States.

Fast forward to today, and I have a new appreciation for my bike as transportation all over again… especially when I reminisce about how we used to grumble any time the price of petrol crept above the 99 cent mark… Today I live in a modest little college town in the midwest, honestly a perfect place to commute on a bike.  Nothing in this city (town?) is really more than half an hour away by bike, and the small gym at my workplace gives me a place to shower up before I arrive at my desk.  My commute is about seven or eight miles each way, depending on route variations.  I generally wear purpose made cycling clothes these days, but it isn’t anything I couldn’t accomplish in shorts and a t-shirt.  So, what do I find essential to the bicycle commuting experience?

Safety should be on everyone’s mind.  I wear a helmet, no matter how dorky I feel, because I promised my Mom I would wear it.  It only takes one fall to make you a jello brain, and then won’t all that college money seem like a waste?  Bright clothes and reflectors are a must, especially if your commute takes you into the evening when the sun is low.  Choosing a route also can provide a good safety buffer.  I divert to the less traveled streets wherever possible, obviously, but also look at the condition of a street- a pothole at dusk can be nearly as dangerous as a careless driver.  A halfway decent light for front and a blinking red light for the rear is a good way to stay noticed, of course.

Here’s a neat trick for using a small (and preferably adequately bright) flashlight instead of a bicycle-specific model on your handlebar.  Instead of an expensive handlebar bracket, I simply loop a rubber bracelet (similar to the ubiquitous ‘Livestrong’ versions, which are of course fine for this application) over the top of my handlebar to capture the front and rear of the flashlight.  I then simply loop another one twice around the rubber band between the light and handlebar.

This effectively gives me a ‘light mount’ for  approximately two dollars (these types of bracelets are frequently given away in the name of whatever organization, too) that stabilizes the light, accommodates different widths of light and handlebar, and provides some ‘shock absorption’ on bumpy roads.  Of course, rechargeable batteries are a nice green-friendly plus!

I try to have a change of clothes at work, and change them out on days that I drive instead of ride to work, but there’s still stuff I need to bring with me.  A pump, a spare tube, a tire lever, and a simple allen wrench are all most of us will ever need for the road.  A good bike lock also is a must, so choose one that provides a level of security that is appropriate for your area, and potentially also the value of your bike.

I use a simple rack on the back of the bike and a simple trunk bag.  I used to use sidebags or ‘saddlebags’, but these days I find it best to limit the weight and keep it centered behind me rather than out on the sides.  I’ve got a messenger bag I wear over my shoulder for whatever doesn’t fit in the trunk bag.  By the way, if you are considering a ‘messenger’ style bag, be sure that it has an auxiliary cross strap that cinches the bag to the opposite corner from where the main strap comes from, forming a sort of inverted ‘y’ on your torso and ensuring that the bag will not slide forward around your hip and hang over your knees.  With both straps snugged it should feel as secure as a backpack.

My bike is a proper (if a bit old-fashioned) ‘road’ bike with ‘drop’ handlebars, but those who wish a more comfortable, upright position or a chubbier, more thickly treaded tire can rejoice in the multitude of choices available, from the bolt-upright ‘comfort’ bikes to the more aggressive ‘fitness’ style bikes; little more than road bikes with a flat handlebar, really.   Or go for the go-anywhere sport utility range of a simple mountain bike. I live at the top of a ridiculously steep hill, so gears are a must for me, but where it is flat commuters will often forgo range of gears for the simplicity and low maintenance of one gear.  But the most important thing about a bike is how it fits you; make friends with your local bike shop and trust their judgement.

So, that’s the quick and dirty on bicycles as transportation.  Whether you have a three speed with a basket up front for your kitten or a you have a gnarly old touring bike and an ironic turn of the century-era walrus mustache; riding instead of driving is good for your legs and lungs, good for your carbon footprint, and good for the soul.  And think of the enormous sense of gratification when you see a gas station… and coast on by.

There are so many products out there that are extremely toxic – not only for the environment, but for us as well.  Bleach is one of the most commonly used sanitizers and its horrible for us.  Just one whiff of the stuff is enough to give me a pounding headache.  Inhaling the poisonous chlorine fumes  is likely to cause respiratory irritation and also contribute to problems with the immune system, lungs, and heart.

I do have to admit that I sometimes miss the way bleach gets things sparkling white.  In the past few years I’ve had to settle for less then bright laundry, but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make.  Now, I’m happy to say that I no longer have to settle for dingy socks thanks to Biokleen Oxygen Bleach Plus.  This stuff works great!  It’s marketed as a laundry booster that helps brighten colors and whites, but it can also be used on carpets and most upholstery fabrics.  It did a fantastic job of getting my dullest socks bright white again!   I even used it on my kitchen sink.  I simply sprinkled a little in some hot water and let it soak.  It did a great job of getting rid of the stains that had accumulated from pouring coffee down the sink daily.  I have to admit – I’m impressed.  Biokleen has restored my faith in clean laundry and a sparkling clean house.

Those of you that have read any of my posts know what a freak I am about using safe, non-toxic products.  I can honestly say that I’m really comfortable with using any Biokleen product.  They are a family run company that makes all of their products in the USA, and all of their ingredients are reviewed by third parties – so you know its safe (and you don’t have to just take their word for it).  After reading over the “Our Promise” on their website, and learning all of the great things they do – and ingredients they use to keep the environment & their customers safe – I’m looking forward to using more of their products.

WIN!

We here at Takes a Village are really excited to work with such a great company & now you too can get the benefits of Biokleen Oxygen Bleach Plus.  The nice people at Biokleen are giving away a 32 oz. bottle of Biokleen Oxygen Bleach Plus to one lucky Takes a Village reader.

To enter, simply visit Biokleen’s website and comment below with which product would best suit your green cleaning needs and why.

For extra giveaway entries, comment for each completed:

1. Like Takes a Village on Facebook.

2. Like biokleen on Facebook.

3. Follow Takes a Village on Twitter.

4. Follow biokleen on Twitter.

5. Tweet or Blog about this giveaway. (1 entry per day).

6. Join the village on Google Friend Connect on right sidebar.

7. Click to Vote for us on Picket Fences on the right sidebar.  (1 entry per day!)

8. Click to Rate us on Top Mommy Blogs on the right sidebar.  (1 entry per day!)

9.  Add Takes a Village to your Google+ circle.

10. Subscribe to our Feed, lower right side.

Giveaway winners will be chosen via Random.org. You must be 18 Years or older to enter. US only please. Contest ends on May 14th.

It seems that popular media outlets are still perpetuating the idea that being super thin is what our young women should be.   Not only is it unhealthy and unattainable for our girls but it’s also extremely dishonest.  Airbrushing and photoshopping have become so widely used that most models and celebrities don’t even look like the images that are released.  This type of dishonesty is causing some serious damage to our younger generation and needs to be addressed.

Enter offourchests.com.  This brilliant movement was started by two parents, Seth and Eva Matlins,  that became concerned about the unattainable beauty standards perpetuated by the media after adopting their daughter EllaRose.  These two bad-ass parents started writing letters to major media outlets asking that they ease up on all of the photoshopping and start being a little more realistic about the images they use.  They even went as far as lobbying for the passage of legislation, the Self-Esteem Act, that would require all “meaningfully” altered images to include a warning label basically stating, “This image has been photoshopped”.  Off Our Chests, is an online bulletin board that is “on a mission to make the world a happier place for women and girls”, encourages women and girls to be “a truly, madly, deeply happy woman in today’s world” and to “never hate on anyone’s happy”.  Fantastic isn’t it?  It’s amazing what happens when you get passionate and dedicated parents fired up (something we know a little about here at TAV).  Off Our Chest is a safe forum where women can voice their frustrations about the hardships  still faced in society.  Personally, I think it’s amazing!  Need to get something off your chest?  Need advice?  Need encouragement?  Maybe just need a laugh?  It’s all there.

Off Our Chest even has a great program that gives books to girls in need.  They have partnered up with FirstBook.org and with every story tee that is purchased from their store, a book is donated to an underprivileged girl.  What’s not to love?  This site is amazing.  Not only do they “talk the talk” but they “walk the walk” by actually helping out the community.

So I’m here to ask you, please get involved in this organization in any way you can.  Check out the website.  It’s super fun and amazingly inspiring.  I can play around on it for hours and always leave it feeling super empowered.  And for crying out loud, sign the petition for the Self-Esteem Act or buy a story tee!

I’ve been taking fish oil supplements since learning of their prenatal virtues seven years ago.  After having my children, I continue taking them for the plethora of benefits ranging from heart health to skin care to stress reduction and so much more.  Being such an advocate of the Omega 3′s these products contain, I was excited to try Ascenta’s liquid formulas, for both myself and my kids.   The oil is easy for children to swallow and the taste is pleasant and short lived.  Both my 4 and 6 year old are fans and I honestly enjoy the flavor too.

Another benefit of oil vs. capsule is that you get more bang for your buck.  A 200 ml bottle contains 40 servings for $24.50, while a bottle of 120 softgels (30 servings) is $27.  I’m sure the softgels are also wonderful, they contain the same high quality ingredients, but for now, my family is hooked on the liquid.  I actually look forward to the chilled oil as a little morning pick-me-up each day.  Yes, please refrigerate after opening.

Vegetarian?  No problem, NutaVege is said to be the highest potency plant-based omega on the market with twenty times more DHA than beloved flax seed oil.

Now, let me get into the main reason I fell so in love with these products.  Sustainability and environmental awareness, of course.  Ascenta is aware that many of the world’s fisheries are mismanaged and that overfishing is a huge threat to many species.  NutraSea products have always been sourced from sustainable species through conscientious, “well-managed” fisheries.  The Nova Scotia based company believes in “resource diversification,” and has expanded their ingredient lists to several sustainable species and vegetable sources to avoid overfishing any particular fish. They also partner with several wonderful environmental organizations, including 1% for the Planet, Heal the Bay, and in Canada: the Environmental Defence, Nova Scotia Nature Trust, and The David Suzuki Foundation.

Ascenta products are available directly from their website and at many brick and mortar locations.

Win Some!

Ascenta has graciously offered two Takes a Village readers a 200 ml bottle of either their DHA formula (great for pregnant mamas and everyone else too, a $26 value) or Kid’s Formula ($22 value)!  You choose!  Simply click below…

a Rafflecopter giveaway

A couple weeks later she told me she wanted nonfat milk instead of the 2% I regularly purchase, because she doesn’t want to get fat.  I explained that there is good fat and bad fat and the people, especially kids need the good fat to help their brains and bodies develop.  She insisted that she doesn’t want to eat anything with fat in it because she is worried about her appearance.  Really??? Age 6???

Sirens, bells, and lightening bolts went off in my brain.  Is this my fault for stressing the importance of avoiding junk food or talking so much about nutrition?  Peer pressure?  Media?  God, I hate Hannah Montana for getting really skinny and bragging about her gluten free diet (among various other reasons).

It’s been about two months since this all began.  The subject has faded in and out, but she certainly hasn’t forgotten entirely.  Gratefully, she still eats everything I cook and orders healthfully at restaurants, but she still talks about fat content and the shape of her legs, etc. from time to time.

I have kept a level head while discussing this with her and just repeat the virtues of healthy fat in a child’s diet.  I’ve pointed out that both her father and I eat healthily and help guide her.  He and I are both in pretty good shape and not overweight.  This ends the conversation momentarily, but it keeps returning… I am now turning to Melissa, our TAV child psychology expert (and awesome mom) for advice… Help!!!

Melissa’s Advice:

I could imagine that hearing a six year obsess about weight and body image would be very concerning.  I think some detective work is really needed as to where she is hearing this from.  It sounds like you are doing a great job at explaining healthy vs. unhealthy.

I would add in some reflective statements when the topic comes up and see where it goes.  This could sound something like,”Wow, I hear how concerned you are about the fat content, tell me more about that.” Or, “sounds like you are worried about the shape of your legs.” leaving the ball in her court to explain more about what is going on for her.Try and stay somewhat neutral (not overly worried), so she feels safe to explore this topic a little more.

Thank you Melissa for being a voice of reason, I will most definitely be asking some open- ended questions!

Readers, I’m curious if anyone has encountered these issues with children so young.  Please comment with your own experiences or input!

Kneipp Joint Muscle Active Gel with Arnica has been a life saver.  I’ve used it on my aching feet to help get me up and going again.  It is great for use on sore, over-worked legs, pregnant or not.  I’ve also had my husband rub it on my lower back at the end of a hard day.  The cooling sensation kicks in right away taking away the burn that can sometimes accompany the ache earned after a long day.  The gel goes on smoothly and is absorbed quickly,  which works out well because I have to admit that the fragrance smells like an old man’s cologne.  Luckily the smell fades really quickly and didn’t bother me much (wish I could say the same for my husband’s opinion, I want more rub-downs!).  For me, the benefits by far outweigh the smell.

According to the Kneipp website, “quality is all-important. This means raw plant materials of first-class quality as the basis for all products, complex analysis processes and gentle processing in innovative production methods. Moreover, in Kneipp’s view, quality stands for guaranteeing the highest degree of usefulness, efficacy and safety of our products. The products, which are left in as natural a state as possible, are manufactured with the greatest of care, not unlike prescription medicines.”

This is the perfect product for me.  I’m already such a freak about anything that goes on my body, even more so now that I’m pregnant.  I feel really safe using this and can’t help but get behind the philosophy of using raw natural materials to heal.  I wish more companies made it a point to use safe materials in their products.  That would make this paranoid future mommy’s life so much easier!!

Save

Kneipp is kindly offering Takes a Village readers 15% savings on all arnica products through April 16, 2012.  Simply enter the code Arnica12 at checkout.

Recently, I came across an article, albeit satirical, written by a mom of a young son.  The author maps out a contract for her future daughter-in-law, basically claiming life long jurisdiction over her son.  At one point, going so far as saying that her son is merely on loan to make grandbabies! Ummm,  yikes!

While it’s true, the moment your son is born you begin counting down the days

til he leaves you, the same applies to your daughter (I know, I have one of each).  With your little girl, you know as her mother that you are her first example of womanhood, what she will one day become.  But, for your son you know (barring the exception that he might be gay), you’re the model of the woman he will likely, want to be with. 

I realize the mother-in-law contract was meant to be tongue in cheek, but there’s plenty of genuine sentiment behind what this mom is saying.  Without delving into the fact that women are already generally perceived as being catty, isn’t there enough stigma surrounding the in-law,  specifically the Mother/Daughter-in -Law, relationship?

As a daughter-in-law, I am incredibly grateful that I did NOT end up with a mother-in-law like the one who wrote this contract (mine is quite the opposite, actually).  It struck me, while reading some of her stipulations, the author hadn’t considered that maybe her future daughter-in-law wouldn’t have the benefit of coming from a traditional family background.  For instance, both of my own parents are deceased.  I am utterly dependent on a good relationship with my in-laws (THANKFULLY its fantastic!), otherwise I’d have no parents at all.  Even more importantly, my kids’ relationship with their only surviving grandparents would undoubtedly suffer under different circumstances.

I shudder to think what my life would be like if I experienced, not only the loneliness of losing both my parents, but also had to contend with the judgement and cattiness, of a mother-in-law still coddling her grown son like a toddler.  I feel for all the young women out there, who dread the inevitable meeting, and sizing-up by, their future mother-in-law, an apprehension I once shared.  Because as women, we know that whatever our relationship with our man’s mama, it’s surely going to change once we become the potential vessel for bringing her grandbabies into the world.  And of course, EVERY mom thinks the way she raised her kids was the RIGHT way, that is not a trait exclusive to mothers-in-law.  So, it’s natural that there would be some nervousness, especially at the start of the relationship between mother and daughter-in-law.  But to open said relationship, with your son’s future wife, decades before they’ve even met, with statements like “son-stealing…jezebel” comes off as petty and irresponsible, regardless of the underlying satire in the delivery.

As a future Mother-In-Law, I’m aware that there may be a high degree of apprehension for my future daughter-in-law, in regard to joining our family.  So, in the interest of relieving some of that tension and putting it out there that, “Hey, not every boy’s mama is waiting for the cord to ‘rot and fall off’ before she lets go of the reins,” I’m writing, not a contract, but an open letter of invitation into our family:

Dear Daughter,

Welcome to our family!  We’re so excited to have you as a part of our lives and look forward to a warm future, full of joy and love.

Thank you for loving my son and wanting to share your life with him.  I want you to know that if my son loves you and you love him,  then you are loved by all that love him.

I will respect and not openly question or criticize the way that you raise your children.  I only want to make it clear that should you desire, the knowledge gained from my decades of parenting experience, is at your disposal.

I understand that you may live far away from us, but I’d appreciate seeing the grandkids, on all the holidays. If you can’t make it, please at least have the grandkids send a card or call.

I hope you and my son share a long, healthy, loving life together.

But should the relationship end prematurely, I want you to know I won’t judge you or turn my back on you. (Provided you didn’t do anything scandalous, of course!)

I hope that we’re able to enjoy a life-long friendship with one another and can share in the love we have for OUR boy.

Sincerely,     GCM

Watching our kids grow up and start families, means acknowledging our own mortality, and trusting that we’ve prepared our children well enough to thrive on their own, and then ultimately raise thriving offspring.  By embracing our children-in-law we are really embracing our own child’s good judgement.  What should make the experience so special is that we are being given a unique insight into, how the values we raise our children with, play out in their lives.  If we’re confident that we’ve been a good example for our children, in actions, principles, and relationships, then the prospect of seeing who our child chooses for a future mate,  should be an exciting one.  Because ultimately, who our children end up marrying, really pays tribute to who raised them.