Category Archives: Adjusting to Parenthood

Get It Girl!- The Importance of Girl/Me Time

by Stephanie Posted on April 5, 2013

A few weekends ago I was reminded of how important ‘girl time’ is. I was invited to one of my best friend’s bridal shower and had a blast!  My girlfriend is having an amazing DIY wedding, and she came up with the idea of getting all of her girlfriends together to make different items to be used for her wedding.  I was privileged enough to spend the afternoon surrounded by a group of very artistic and crafty women.  We all came together for the sole purpose of celebrating our friend by doing our best to make her wedding day gorgeous and special.  As I sat there wielding a hot glue gun, it all came flooding back to me.  Before being a mommy took up all of my time, I was always dreaming of and actually making different items for friends and family.  It was so much a part of my lifestyle I couldn’t hardly imagine myself not always doing it.  Yet, here I am with a completely different focus and now I spend my time dreaming up activities that I can do with my son.  The days of spending a whole afternoon in front of my sewing machine have now become play dates at the park.  I am in no way complaining, but after the weekend with my friends, I realized I miss my crafty time.  

As mothers, I think that we become so absorbed in our children we often lose important parts of ourselves. I don’t think it’s intentional – it just seems that our priorities shift.  At least for me, the things that were once so important became secondary to my child.  So much so that I didn’t even realize how much I was missing it. I think it happens to the best of us.  The time with my girlfriends made me realize that I too have needs, and those needs are every bit as important as my child’s needs.  Easier said then done, I know, but we mothers need to recognize it and not feel guilty about it.   Sometimes it’s important for us to put the kid down and pick ourselves back up again.  We will be much better mothers for it .

The short “kid-free” weekend with my friends left me feeling recharged and reenergized.  I came back a relaxed, happy and inspired mom.  Since then, I’ve made it a point to get back into the things I enjoy.  I came home and started my garden (something I haven’t even thought about in the last year), I’m taking steps to start a sewing group to learn to repurpose clothing I already have, and I’m hoping to dust off my sewing machine – and glue gun – and get crafting again.

In the end, I’m grateful to my friends for reawakening the part of me that needs to create something.  To think –  all it took was an afternoon with friends, wine, glue guns, and the hum of a sewing machine to get me going again.  I guess that’s what friends are for. Thanks Ladies!!

Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Commitment, Crafts, Creativity, DIY, Learning Experience, Memories, Mental Health, Mommy Time, Parenting, Villagers | 1 Comment

Turn and Face the Strange (and heartbreakingly unexpected) Ch-Ch-Changes

by Stephanie Posted on February 7, 2013

 

I’m not naive.  I knew full well that my life was going to change completely when I had my son.  I was totally prepared for sleepless nights, painful recovery, and drastic change in my social life; but I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for the loss of some very close friendships.  Sadly, it turns out that I have some childless friends that have adopted a very “US versus THEM” mentality.

I guess I was naive when I assumed that years of friendship would get us over that hurdle.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.  I’ve noticed a serious gap in some of my relationships and to say the least, I’m a little heart broken.  After all, I did help some of these pals get through some pretty difficult times.  Is it too much to expect that after years of friendship, they would be there to see me though the birth of my first child (or at least check up on me with a quick phone call)?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do have to admit that I am partly to blame.  My whole life (and every FB posting) has become all about my son.  In their defense, they probably can’t relate to me anymore.

Luckily, I have also noticed that my friendships with those that do have children have grown even stronger.  Honestly, I’m not sure I would have made it through the first few months of parenthood without them.  I had no idea what havoc my hormones would reek on my sanity.  Without the constant reassurance from my friends that what I was feeling was normal, I would have probably lost it. Really, who’s to say that I didn’t?  Kidding. Totally kidding.

I guess it takes major life changes to help you weed out the petty, superficial things and relationships that really don’t work for you anymore.  While it is undoubtedly painful to come to the realization that some of these friendships have become petty and superficial, I can only look to the future to help heal those wounds.

In the end, it’s been an interesting transition.  I’m finding myself forging new friendships for myself and my son.  Thanks to “Mommy and Me” classes, I’ve managed to meet a few moms that have babies around the same age as my boy.  The relationships are still pretty new and we are all on our best “mommy” behavior. Who knows?  Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a few cocktail swilling, naughty joke telling mammas to pass the time with and help make up for my losses.  After all, those other friendships didn’t happen overnight either.  I guess only time will tell.  I’ll keep you posted…

 

Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Community, Learning Experience, Loss, Memories, Mental Health, New Baby, parent-child activities, Parenting Advice, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Love your Mother-Motherlove products Giveaway

by Stephanie Posted on September 22, 2012

It’s official, I’m a mom!  Boy has it been a wild ride so far! I’ll be honest, my life has changed in so many ways, and not all of it has been magical.  Take breastfeeding for example — I’ve had a very difficult time.  Like most mommy/baby teams my little one & I have had to work really hard to get it right (and I’m still not sure we have).  The first few weeks of breastfeeding can be very painful. Luckily for me I have been using Motherlove nipple cream.  When my overused and very abused nipples started to chap while my little guy perfected his latch, I’d dab a little on my girls & I’d get instant relief.  With natural ingredients such as extra virgin olive oil, shea butter, and calendula flower (amongst other great stuff) – I felt confident using Motherlove nipple cream, and was comfortable with my son attempting to latch on soon after application.  I didn’t have to worry that he’d be eating any harmful chemicals that could hurt him.  The cream went straight to work soothing, moisturizing, and calming inflammation.  I also found that it works great on lips & any other parts of the body that need a little extra TLC.

 

Not only did I get relief, but my son also benefited from Motherlove products.  Turns out he has sensitive skin & I was able to use their diaper rash and thrush cream.  In his case I quickly learned that prevention was key.  Newsflash – newborns poop & pee a lot – so there is plenty of action going on down there.  After a few days, my little guy started to get some very red & irritated areas on his butt.  I quickly applied the Motherlove Diaper and Thrush ointment –  and within a few applications the red subsided.  I’ve since then applied it every time I change his diaper and we have had zero problems.  My husband especially loves the wonderful scent. He said it’s like vanilla & butterscotch.

I have always expressed my disgust in all of the harmful chemicals that are used by many conventional baby products out there, so I’m constantly on the hunt for safe and healthy products.  Motherlove is a company that takes it’s ingredients seriously, and only uses organic natural ingredients that won’t harm mom (or baby).  I feel totally comfortable using any of their products (and they have plenty to choose from).  Motherlove has all of your pregnancy and post pregnancy needs covered.  From products like their Pregnant  Belly Oil to their very popular More Milk Plus products (that help boost breast milk production).  There’s nothing they haven’t thought of!

Thanks to the people at Motherlove, one of our lucky readers will win a Diaper Rash and Thrush Ointment, a $20 value!  Enter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Special thanks to Motherlove for providing fantastic samples for my review!
Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Giveaway, Health, natural, New Baby, organic, pain relief, Pregnancy, Skincare, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Got Milk?

by Rajina Posted on April 4, 2012

Like many expectant women, before giving birth, I had a master plan of nursing for a full year.  I received numerous coupons from formula companies and lots of free samples, which I gave away or tossed.  I didn’t need those when I was going to have the magical milk factory on hand.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.  I ended up only producing a limited supply, which caused my little one to lose weight.

Three weeks after Aleena was born I introduced formula.  This was the one thing I said I wasn’t going to do.  I only gave it to her in the evenings before bed, but I still felt bad that I was doing it.   Why such feelings of guilt???  I was still feeding my child.  She needed to put on weight.  It’s not like I was feeding her poison, and she was still getting breast milk.

I felt so disappointed in myself for doing this because it wasn’t my plan.  But why was I feeling so guilty?  I’ll tell you why.  It was society and what other people thought.  The looks one gets when they pull out that bottle of Enfamil and or Similac. Wow, it was as if I was feeding my baby Coca-Cola or something!

Here’s the thing:  no one should have the right to judge you. Everyone has a story behind why they do what they do, and I did what I had to do so my baby could put on weight and get the proper amount of nutrients.  Some may not be able to produce milk at all, or may have experienced complications.  Whatever the reason, everyone’s story is different and snap judgments are harsh and unfair.

Even though I didn’t produce as much milk as I would have liked, I still went strong for ten and a half months.  Regardless of how I got there, I always had Aleena’s health and best interest in mind, and that allowed me to have a happy healthy baby.

Breastfeeding for me was an amazing bonding experience. Which was very special to me, having my angel so close.  It also turned into a great learning experience – don’t hate on others, higher milk production does not equal more love!  Maybe next round my milk factory will be in mega production, but if not I know that there is nothing wrong with a little formula here and there. Happy Feedings!

 
Clipart courtesy of http://www.babyclipart.net.
Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Food, Parenting Advice, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Lost (And found) In Transition

by Stephanie Posted on March 2, 2012

My best friend just called and invited me on a weekend trip to Tokyo.  She’ll be there on business staying in a fancy hotel and would love for me to join her.  (Lost in Translation anyone?)    Normally, I would have been on a plane the next day gearing up for a fun filled trip of shopping, eating and plenty of cocktails (in this case, it would just be shopping and eating, sadly no cocktails for me for at least another 15 weeks).

We’re talking about my best friend; she and I are famous (or infamous?) for taking Ab Fab trips around the world to shop, spa, eat, and drink our way through cities.  It’s trips like these make the life of a flight attendant glamorous.  It’s also these perks  that I must remember when I’m dealing with the business passenger that is having a total meltdown because we ran out of the chicken entree.  But I digress; my best friend invited me to Tokyo and instead I can already sense I’m going to be talking myself out of the trip.

Doubts like, “At 6 months pregnant am I going to be comfortable on a plane for 12 hours?”, “Can I afford this trip? After all I have to furnish a nursery and buy a new car?”, even “Will my snoogle fit in my carry-on?” have flooded my mind and stopped me dead in my tracks.

Holy shit!  What the hell has happened to me?  Where is the girl that lived for trips like this?  I’ve never had a problem jumping on a plane at the last minute to visit friends in cities like London, NYC, Chicago, and San Francisco.  That was the norm for me.  As a matter of fact, I was hardly ever in LA.

Who is this new woman I’m becoming, and who the hell does she think she is?  Really?  This is a weekend in Tokyo people!  This is my last chance to get one more trip in before I can no longer travel without a car seat, stroller, and diaper bag.  Why would she rob me of this experience?

And then I realize I’m talking about myself.  That woman is me.  I guess the “new” me.  The new me is having a really hard time letting go of the old me, and that makes me really sad.

No one ever talks about this transition that happens during pregnancy.  I’ve heard of it happening after the baby arrives, but not during pregnancy.  I would imagine that it’s quite common.  I’m  just surprised at how it’s affecting me.  Of course I’ve known all along that my life is going to change when I have this child (It already has.  I would kill for a cocktail and dessert right now).  I’ve seen first hand how the changes effect one’s lifestyle and that is why I waited so long to have kids.  I’ve also seen the joy that comes from having children and understand that it’s a great trade off.

So why the blues?  All I can say is that I guess I really should take a few moments to mourn the loss of my old self and old lifestyle.  I owe it to myself.  So why fight it?  It’s time to say goodbye to the jet setting, wine swilling, potty mouth that I am (at least for now) and usher in the patient, nurturing stay at home mom I hope to become.  The transition will be both a blessing and a challenge that I’m (mostly) ready to embrace.

It’s not all bad, as I sit here and feel my son kick and punch in my belly I’m reminded of all the adventures that are still to come.  My attitude is instantly changing.  Yes, weekend trips to Tokyo will be on hold for a while but I’ll find other ways to get my kicks.  I’m already organizing kid/pet friendly trips to the California central coast with good friends.  Plenty of wine there!

 

 

Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Behavior, Parenting Advice, Pregnancy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments