Category Archives: Learning Experience

Get It Girl!- The Importance of Girl/Me Time

A few weekends ago I was reminded of how important ‘girl time’ is. I was invited to one of my best friend’s bridal shower and had a blast!  My girlfriend is having an amazing DIY wedding, and she came up with the idea of getting all of her girlfriends together to make different items to be used for her wedding.  I was privileged enough to spend the afternoon surrounded by a group of very artistic and crafty women.  We all came together for the sole purpose of celebrating our friend by doing our best to make her wedding day gorgeous and special.  As I sat there wielding a hot glue gun, it all came flooding back to me.  Before being a mommy took up all of my time, I was always dreaming of and actually making different items for friends and family.  It was so much a part of my lifestyle I couldn’t hardly imagine myself not always doing it.  Yet, here I am with a completely different focus and now I spend my time dreaming up activities that I can do with my son.  The days of spending a whole afternoon in front of my sewing machine have now become play dates at the park.  I am in no way complaining, but after the weekend with my friends, I realized I miss my crafty time.  

As mothers, I think that we become so absorbed in our children we often lose important parts of ourselves. I don’t think it’s intentional – it just seems that our priorities shift.  At least for me, the things that were once so important became secondary to my child.  So much so that I didn’t even realize how much I was missing it. I think it happens to the best of us.  The time with my girlfriends made me realize that I too have needs, and those needs are every bit as important as my child’s needs.  Easier said then done, I know, but we mothers need to recognize it and not feel guilty about it.   Sometimes it’s important for us to put the kid down and pick ourselves back up again.  We will be much better mothers for it .

The short “kid-free” weekend with my friends left me feeling recharged and reenergized.  I came back a relaxed, happy and inspired mom.  Since then, I’ve made it a point to get back into the things I enjoy.  I came home and started my garden (something I haven’t even thought about in the last year), I’m taking steps to start a sewing group to learn to repurpose clothing I already have, and I’m hoping to dust off my sewing machine – and glue gun – and get crafting again.

In the end, I’m grateful to my friends for reawakening the part of me that needs to create something.  To think –  all it took was an afternoon with friends, wine, glue guns, and the hum of a sewing machine to get me going again.  I guess that’s what friends are for. Thanks Ladies!!

Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Commitment, Crafts, Creativity, DIY, Learning Experience, Memories, Mental Health, Mommy Time, Parenting, Villagers | 1 Comment

Turn and Face the Strange (and heartbreakingly unexpected) Ch-Ch-Changes

 

I’m not naive.  I knew full well that my life was going to change completely when I had my son.  I was totally prepared for sleepless nights, painful recovery, and drastic change in my social life; but I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for the loss of some very close friendships.  Sadly, it turns out that I have some childless friends that have adopted a very “US versus THEM” mentality.

I guess I was naive when I assumed that years of friendship would get us over that hurdle.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.  I’ve noticed a serious gap in some of my relationships and to say the least, I’m a little heart broken.  After all, I did help some of these pals get through some pretty difficult times.  Is it too much to expect that after years of friendship, they would be there to see me though the birth of my first child (or at least check up on me with a quick phone call)?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do have to admit that I am partly to blame.  My whole life (and every FB posting) has become all about my son.  In their defense, they probably can’t relate to me anymore.

Luckily, I have also noticed that my friendships with those that do have children have grown even stronger.  Honestly, I’m not sure I would have made it through the first few months of parenthood without them.  I had no idea what havoc my hormones would reek on my sanity.  Without the constant reassurance from my friends that what I was feeling was normal, I would have probably lost it. Really, who’s to say that I didn’t?  Kidding. Totally kidding.

I guess it takes major life changes to help you weed out the petty, superficial things and relationships that really don’t work for you anymore.  While it is undoubtedly painful to come to the realization that some of these friendships have become petty and superficial, I can only look to the future to help heal those wounds.

In the end, it’s been an interesting transition.  I’m finding myself forging new friendships for myself and my son.  Thanks to “Mommy and Me” classes, I’ve managed to meet a few moms that have babies around the same age as my boy.  The relationships are still pretty new and we are all on our best “mommy” behavior. Who knows?  Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a few cocktail swilling, naughty joke telling mammas to pass the time with and help make up for my losses.  After all, those other friendships didn’t happen overnight either.  I guess only time will tell.  I’ll keep you posted…

 

Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Community, Learning Experience, Loss, Memories, Mental Health, New Baby, parent-child activities, Parenting Advice, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Magical Experiences

38As parents it is oddly important to us that we introduce our children to the world.  These new experiences could be the things we always wanted in our lives but didn’t have. It could be memories of things that we experienced and remember fondly.  So we go through the effort of taking our kids places, paying for things, and wearing ourselves out to fulfill this endeavor.  My most recent adventure was taking my children to Washington D.C. for an overnight trip.  A city I’ve been to many times before, but it suddenly became new through their eyes.  My daughters are age four and six.  They won’t REALLY remember this particular trip to D.C., but as I see it I’m adding layers to their childhood memories, little bits at a time.

So a two day mini-trip was plenty for us.  When asked what we might do down there I ran down a rather ambitious lengthy list of options that seemed impossible to accomplish.  There was a puppet show, the Air and Space Museum, the outdoor ice skating rink, the Museum of Natural History, and on and on… In my heart of hearts I knew that the truth is you can plan all of that stuff and then kill yourself trying to achieve it.  So while I entertained the notion of visiting all of these places, I knew I didn’t stand a chance in the world of getting it all done and so I entered the city with NO plan, NO map, just a starting point, and even that didn’t go so well.  The good news is it didn’t really matter that it didn’t go well, because going well wasn’t part of the plan.

While down there I did encounter parents who DID plan their day, and were soldiering54 on incessantly, almost immune to the protests of their children, but you could see the hopelessness in their eyes.  They didn’t want to be doing it any more than their kids did, and yet, they pushed at it like it was a competition. In the end we did make it to quite a few places, but it was at a mosey. Yes, we enjoyed the Air and Space Museum, they really do have some COOL stuff to explore, and it is well-geared towards young kids.  The Natural History museum was ‘eh, so, so’ to the girls, a place I remember solely for the big elephant that still graces it’s central gallery.  Oddly they enjoyed the architecture just like I do, pointing out beautiful buildings, columns and statues that grace our beloved nations capital.  We didn’t ice skate due to a lost glove, protecting soft little hands is so much more important.

Our ‘agenda’ was disrupted happily by carousel rides, ice cream pit-stops, magic dirt, circling fountains endlessly, 56the wonder that is the D.C. Metro train, a hole-in-the-wall delicious D.C. café, and a game of tree hide-n-seek.  Their favorite thing?  The hotel room.  Oh, the luxury.  Oh, the entertainment…two beds three feet apart make for quite a splash of fun.  Speaking of splashes, they enjoyed ‘spa treatment’ baths and manicure/pedicures and indulged in the hotel robes, shower caps, and other little delights found there. I’m pretty sure their jaws didn’t leave the floor during the entire Metro ride, and the only hiccup there is that my younger daughter didn’t realize that the subway was NOT Subway, and she was disappointed at the lack of sandwiches in the joint.  They loved the golden doors of the hotel, and the huge sparkly chandeliers.  The bellmen were especially kind to us, spoiling us some, perhaps out of sheer amusement at the amazement painted heavily across my children’s faces.

We still have the magic dirt rocks.  Those made it home with us.  All these years that I’ve been to that city and never once did it occur to me that there was magic to be found in the dirt paved sidewalks of the mall.  Now, a little piece of that magic lives on in our home.  No, it’s not moon rock such as the display encased in glass in the museum with a description of the where, when and how it was retrieved from outer space.  OUR rocks are sitting in our rock collection (don’t all families have a rock collection?) and the where, when and how we got them is fairly simple, just a one hour jaunt away, a25 wonderful weekend in November.

And, the magic of those rocks is the girls remember that trip and all the oddly fascinating experiences of the Metro, the hotel, the water fountain and the architecture every time they see them.  So much for the White House, the Monument, The Capital Building and Smithsonian. The experiences they walked away remembering may not have been the ones I’d imagined for them, but I love what it became to us.  I should have known it would be that way.

After all when I remember my visit to Rome as a young adult, my most enjoyable and perfect memory was laying barefoot on the grass, with a great friend and a bottle of wine, surrounded by a gorgeous Italian garden on top of a raised fortress overlooking the city.  So much for the Vatican and the Roman ruins….

Posted in Learning Experience, Memories, Parenting, Travel, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life is Learning: Recycling as a Lesson

At age six my daughter really wanted an iPod Touch like mine.  She is very gentle by nature and extremely careful with the old (and heavy) laptop I had refurbished for her as a holiday present.  Do I think that a girl her age needs an iPod? Of course not!!! Do I think this presented amazing opportunity for a learning experience?  Oh yeah!

I told her last spring when she started asking (pleading) for the gadget, that she’d have to buy it herself.  The devices start at around $200, but I’d seen them refurbished for $150.  That’s a steep price tag for a first grader, but she was determined.

Aside from putting some holiday gift money in the bank account she opened, the little saver started collecting recycling from friends, family, and neighbors.  She even used a paper towel to pick up littered water bottles at the park.  My girl is hygienic and thrifty!

 

The lesson here is two-fold: help the environment AND her pockets!  And me?  I couldn’t be prouder.  She stockpiled bottles in our garage and our monthly trips to the recycling center provided a great bonding and educational experience.  We would sort the bottles at home and she would feed them into the self-service machines – just her height and she could watch the tally and profit rise on the machine’s monitor!  As for the containers that couldn’t go into the self-serve, we sorted them into the large barrels at the plant to be weighed by the attendant.  Admittedly, she eventually tired of feeding in the bottles one by one and decided to have everything weighed in bulk.  It was less money, but saved time and energy when she started to lose interest in the machines.

The pay-outs came in the form of certificates to be spent or cashed in at the adjacent grocery store.  I would redeem them and transfer the earnings into her account. The totals added up pretty quickly with recycling coming from all different comrades of her cause and she earned herself an iPod in about 6 months.  I ended up giving her my old one for $100. (which I secretly left in her account).   She uses it to “play dj” in the car and rarely for games and checking the weather.   Of course, its use is limited and she always asks first.

I really recommend this activity for those with child aged 6 or up in their life.  My daughter is so proud of her achievement and so excited to use her iPod she bought herself.  Environmentally, financially, educationally, and self-conceptually – this is a win – win – win – win situation!

To find your nearest recycling center in California click here.  For other states, try Google!

Do you have any experience with or ideas for real-life learning activities?  Please comment below or email me at julie@takesavillage.net to submit your own guest post!

Posted in chores, Education, Environmental, Extra curricular Activity, Greener Living, Learning Experience, Parenting, Parenting Advice, Recycling, Spending, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment