Category Archives: Teaching Compassion

Take Part! Take the Pledge to Protect our Babes from Bullying!

As the mom of two extremely gentle, somewhat shy little girls, I certainly worry about
Anti_bullyin_posterstheir exposure to peer pressure and bullying.  I feel extremely lucky that at age 7, my eldest has yet to seriously encounter these problems.  I hope to prepare her and her five year old sister, best I can, for the bleak possibilities.  There is only so much to be done on the home-front though.

They are well versed on “stranger-danger,” but when it comes to a child being the culprit or provocateur, there seem to be many more shades of gray.  I feel the need to understand why the bully is behaving in such a way, hoping we can  figure a way to help them and stop them from hurting others.  Unfortunately both psychology and optimism are rather ineffective when your kid is in the thick of it.

icict_bullying2I am a pacifist, and as much as I comprehend the importance of self-defense, I have a hard time teaching my kids to fight back at their tender ages.  But I will because I must.  My best approach thus far is to teach them about asserting themselves, an area where the elder falls short.  It takes a pep talk for her to order her own ice cream; what happens when she may be faced with a bully taunting her or chiding her into making a bad choice?

Take Part has created a pledge, asking us to do our part to curb this terrible epidemic that haunts its victims for life, often creating fear, depression, and anxiety – sometimes even leading to suicide.  This is certainly a movement we can all get behind!  Please click here to sign the pledge and support this important cause!

This a conversation worth having! What are your own fears or experiences when it comes to bullying? How do you feel we can best prepare our youth for these types of encounters?

image source:  Agência Fiocruz de Notícias
Thanks to TakePart for sponsoring today’s discussion!
Posted in Behavior, Bullying, Community, non-profit, Parenting Advice, social awareness, Teaching Compassion, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Citizens Aren’t Powerless to Prevent Atrocities

I’ve known Adam Lanza too. (He isn’t my son.) He had a different name, but the same profile. We’ve all met these people. They live in every community. And it’s not too late to stop them.

They are too disabled to hold a job. Their disability doesn’t lie in their limbs, but in their minds. They live with their parents, or in a group home, have no friends, and no reason to leave the house.

This is not the picture of a happy life. Shunned by society, they have only their family, or hired caretakers, who may be very sick of them. Just think about how you feel after a week with your parents. Then multiply that by 1,040. That’s how many weeks Adam Lanza spent with his mother and almost nobody else, from what it sounds like.

The solution proposed by experts and amateurs alike: Adam Lanza, and Jared Loughner, and the other mass murderers were mentally ill. They needed help, from mental health professionals.

Adam Lanza did need help. As my brother said on the phone yesterday, “six-years-olds draw hearts and want attention. They have nothing to give but love. Anyone who would kill them…it’s sick.”

It’s heinous. And such indiscriminate violence must be borne out of great pain. When animals and humans are in a great deal of pain, their cognitive functioning is not optimal. High emotions block rational thinking. Targets are missed. Social cues are misread. They lash out or in, hurting others indiscriminately, or hurting themselves. A mental health professional can help a person identify this behavior. He or she can prescribe medication to improve functioning, teach coping skills, and refer the client to community resources and activities. But here’s what mental health professionals can’t do: they can’t reduce the pain.

The pain that comes from isolation and dysfunctional relationships with family members who many disabled people depend upon for survival will not go away through talk therapy alone. A mental health professional is not a friend. And being a mental patient is not a role that carries esteem. Humans need friends, esteem, and activities that offer a sense of achievement in order to stay healthy.

The Adam Lanzas and Jared Loughners of the world needed to be part of society in order for that pain to go away. They needed to have roles that prevented them from getting so sick. They needed to be welcomed somewhere, and to do something well. A mental health worker could have helped them find those things if society had provided them.

There are plenty of roles for disabled people: bagging groceries as a volunteer, discussing American presidents with old folks in an assisted living facility, walking the neighbors’ dogs, weeding gardens for a landscaper, playing chess at the corner store or park, participating in synagogue or church events, writing fan fiction for a thriving fan fiction community, or working with a group of Linux users to create a new Java-based widget platform.

When society obsesses over the need for mental healthcare for the Adam Lanzas of the world, it passes the buck. It undermines the importance of social acceptance for disabled people. It’s like a person with a messy house who throws a banana peel on the floor and screams, “I need more housecleaners!”

If we keep our houses cleaner, we won’t be dependent on housecleaners.

We can welcome disabled people and offer them small roles that get them out of the house or into a social milieu. When they apply for jobs at our businesses, we can give them small, manageable tasks once a week. When they apply to join our synagogues but can’t afford the membership fee, we can waive it. When they apply to join our quilting group, bowling team, or gardening club, we can accept them, even if they make us slightly uncomfortable. We can greet them with kindness and conversation when we encounter them in public or at their homes.

If having disabled people around frightens you, that’s understandable. Check with their family members, their doctors or therapists before inviting them into your world. We do that with employees for good reason. But don’t categorically reject them. Because that’s what has occurred in the case of Adam Lanza and Jared Loughner, and the result is atrocious.

We can cry out for more psychologists, more welfare spending on mental health services, do nothing ourselves, and accept the collateral damage. Or we can step up and be citizens. Those are the choices.

Emily Meehan is a writer and a children’s advocate who is producing a feature film she wrote after spending six months working with foster children living in a Northern California group home. Learn more about the film here.

 

Posted in Altruism, Behavior, Child Advocacy, Education, Family, Loss, Sharing, social awareness, Special Needs, Teaching Compassion, Theory, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sandy Hook: Let this be a turning point…

Of course we all know of the monstrous events that took place in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday.  As a nation we collectively weep, ache, and pray for peace for those who were lost and those who survive them.

I don’t believe it is truly possible to empathize with the families who lost loved ones at Sandy Hook Elementary that day.  I cannot fathom what they are feeling.  The pain will not go away, but with time they will get used to its presence.

There must be a cure to such shocking, incorrigible acts of violence in our society.  But there is not just one easy answer.  I don’t know how we arrived in a place that such news has become commonplace, but I fear that the population may lose their fury for change as time goes on.  We cannot allow this.

It is our responsibility as parents and caregivers to ensure that we continue a productive conversation, and push for change so that our children can learn and grow in a positive and safe environment.

We must look within ourselves, within our morals, and within the bounds of our culture for the means to create a more compassionate community.  A place where people are never so ostracized that they act out in violence, a place where it is not so easy to get weapons, and a place where we can provide help to those in need without stigma or judgement.

While there are no words to adequately express our sorrow for the victims and their families, as parents, Americans, and humans our hearts pour love onto those who have suffered and those who still do.

Rest in Peace

Charlotte Bacon, 6                                        

Rachel D’Avino, 29

Olivia Engel, 6                                              

Dylan Hockley, 6

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47                          

Jesse Lewis, 6

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6                                  

Grace McDonnell, 7

Anne Marie Murphy, 52                                 

Emilie Parker, 6

Noah Pozner, 6                                          

 Jessica Rekos, 6

Lauren Rousseau, 30                                     

Mary Sherlach, 56

Victoria Soto, 27                                        

Daniel Barden, 7

Josephine Gay, 7                                          

Madeleine Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6                                  

Chase Kowalski, 7

James Mattioli, 6                                        

Jack Pinto, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6                                      

Avielle Richman, 6

Benjamin Wheeler, 6                                    

Allison Wyatt, 6

 

 

 

Posted in Behavior, Child Advocacy, Community, Discipline, Loss, Memories, Mental Health, School, social awareness, Teaching Compassion, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Youth Wellness Network Showcase

At a young age I was influenced and encouraged to follow belief systems and paradigms that turned out to be limiting and self-destructive.  They came from many different sources including my parents, teachers, communities, and even society as a whole.  The older I got the more I realized that I was not alone – many of my peers had been taught very similar beliefs and as a result we all began living a life that we thought we should be living. It wasn’t until I had a breakdown at the age of 19 and was faced with some very challenging circumstances that I started to realize the life I had been living was not truly my own.  I had become a product of my conditioning and my surroundings and if I was going to survive, something had to change!

As I started to learn different strategies, tools, and new life philosophies I began to question many things.  What if instead of living my life the way others were or the way I had been taught I should live, how would things change if I was empowered to live the life I had always desired deep within?  I started to imagine what our world would look like if we all spread our wings and truly soared to our truest potential.

After spending many years learning to step into my own greatness and reclaiming my self-worth and self-esteem, I created the Youth Wellness Network so I could help inspire and empower youth all over the globe going through similar challenges that I faced. I thought to myself, if I can live a happy, healthy and positive life and still be considered successful by society’s standards, then others can too!

Today, my desire is to provide support, inspiration and resources for youth of all ages to become well-rounded individuals. When I was going through my transformation and breaking free from my own limiting belief systems, there was no accessible and relate-able resources I felt I could turn to that would support my process of finding and becoming my authentic self.  Luckily for me, my father went through a huge transformation a year prior to my breakdown and became my one source of encouragement and support.  But many others aren’t as privileged as I was.

Thus, the Youth Wellness Network is here to do just that; we provide youth, parents, educators and communities with the appropriate tools to assist them in the process of living healthier, more positive lives.  We create and implement wellness programs within schools, and organizations all over North America. We work together with administration and educators to provide the most relevant program that meets their school’s / organization’s needs and the needs of their youth.

Some of the main issues we address with our programs are stress, anxiety, bullying, self-esteem, uncertainty of self and future, and emotional/mental health.  Our goal is to help youth as well as adults understand the root of these pressing issues, so they can ultimately extinguish them instead of simply covering them up with a band aid solution.

Our hope is that once we teach and provide the tools, that the individuals will be able to create sustainable positive change in their own lives and the lives of those in their communities. We believe that by empowering our next generation to become confident, kind, and compassionate individuals who live with integrity and purpose, they will spark an even bigger change in our society creating a ripple effect of positive change all over the world!

In addition to working alongside youth, we also provide programs for parents, educators, and any adult who have youth in their lives.  We offer workshops for teachers to help reduce their stress and better manage their energy levels, while providing appropriate techniques to reduce the stress levels in their classrooms.  Our more extensive teacher training program is called Empowered Education, where we teach the teachers to infuse principles of empowerment instead of control into their educating process.  Educators will then become a source of genuine support for their students, and be able to establish a secure environment for each student to thrive.

Our programs for parents are based around creating a more balanced and harmonious relationship with their children and teenagers.  We emphasize on the importance of having conscious relationships surrounded by compassion and based on the principles of empowerment and understanding perspective.  We offer presentations and training to give parents the tools to gain a better understanding of what their children are going through and how to communicate and interact from a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.  As a part of our mission in educating parents, educators and anyone who works with youth, I have recently written a book, co-authored with my father Jeffrey Eisen. The book is entitled, Empowered YOUth: A Father and Son’s Journey to Conscious Living, which is published by Hay House and is now available anywhere books are sold.  This book provides a more in-depth perspective on how parents and children, adults and youth can come together and build a stronger, longer-lasting relationship based on understanding, mutual respect and empowerment. It serves as blueprint for bridging the gap between adults and youth in our society.

If we are all going to come together to empower the next generation we ALL need to live the most empowered version of ourselves first. The days of “do as I say, not as I do” are completely over.  If you are a parent, educator, or an adult who has children, teenagers, or young adults in your lives, you need to lead by example!  The first step to making long lasting positive change in this world is to start with YOURSELF!

Michael Eisen’s Bio:

Michael Eisen is an inspirational speaker, author and the founder of the Youth Wellness Network (YWN), an organization dedicated to inspiring and empowering youth across the globe to live happier and more positive lives. YWN specializes in creating and implementing wellness programs in schools and organizations, while providing additional programs and training online. After positively transforming his own life at the age of 19, Michael is now on a lifelong crusade to share with other young people the principles, strategies, and practices that gave him the strength to start living a more joyful and healthier life. He contributes a fresh, young, authentic voice to the field of wellness, and is rapidly becoming a youth-wellness expert. Michael’s first book, Empowered YOUth: A Father and Son’s Journey to Conscious Living, co-authored with his father Jeffrey Eisen and published by Hay House is now available for purchase online and everywhere books are sold. To learn more about Michael and the Youth Wellness Network, visit www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca.

Posted in Book Review, Community, Guest Author, non-profit, Parenting Advice, social awareness, Teaching Compassion | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Book Review: Jadyn and The Magic Bubble Series ~ Teaching Awareness without Preaching it

It’s been a while since my girls have wanted to read the same book every night.  Now that they’re 4 and 7 they generally like to mix things up.  However, since we started reading Brigitte Benchimol’s award winning series of socially conscious and truly magical books, that’s changed.

Beginning with Jadyn and the Magic Bubble: Discovering India,  the reader travels to New Delhi and the Taj Mahal via their imagination and all of their senses.  This thoroughly researched book is anything but whimsical.  It is deeply educational and fascinating.  Not only have my children learned history and geography of India, but also how silk is made and about the daily hustle and bustle of city life there.

Always looking for ways to aid my children in becoming more socially aware, I am thrilled with Brigitte’s like-minded ideas, and even more so with her approach.  Discovering India manages to discuss poverty and Jadyn’s disconcerted reaction to it without telling them how to feel or think on the topic.  It is written as a gateway to discussion and meditation on the subject and for my family it has been an excellent tool.  I feel that it is never too early to start your kids on the path of having empathy for others and these books provide a great gateway.

The topic of the book’s sequel, I Met Ghandi is pretty self explanatory.  It is a history lesson that is anything but dull.  Benchimol turns learning and meditation into an adventure.  I personally picked up some new knowledge from this series and I appreciate that my children and I all are left pondering at the end of each title.  The author created this series with the goal of “empowering children to open their minds and expand their own potential”.  Worthy target, and I believe she hits the mark.

Kenya! Kenya! takes empathy to a different level.  Hosted by a talking giraffe, Jadyn gracefully learns about boundaries from an animal’s perspective.  The giraffe explains why hunting and poaching are major issues, but also addresses the way people tend to approach animals.  Kenya, Kenya provides food for thought – animals deserve personal space too!  We should be careful not to frighten or overwhelm them.

Not only are these books a journey of consciousness, but they are a safari for the senses as well!  Discovering India includes recipes, a patch of silk to feel, and a cd.  Also just released is an awesomely interactive iPad app based on Kenya! Kenya!   With coloring pages, Record your own voice and many other fabulous features – $5.99 for iPad owners Only.

I had the pleasure of meeting Brigitte Benchimol after learning that she lived locally to me.  Not only did I have the opportunity to interview her, but I gratefully had the chance to befriend her.  Brigitte has years of experience working with children, from teacher to pre-school owner/ director, she has made a wealth of observations that enable her to write in a way that appeals to all age levels.  She believes in not dumbing it down, finding the “parameters of vocabulary and word count condescending”.  Children will learn through context and questions.  I agree.

In addition to teaching compassion to children, Brigitte also teaches adults.  She conducts Peace Workshops in the Los Angeles area, utilizing her training in The Way of Council.    The council “fosters compassion, empathy, non-judgmental listening, kindness, understanding of self and others, reflection, social responsibility, feelings, depth, and purpose.  I’d be hard pressed to find anyone who couldn’t use a refresher in at least one of these areas.  For information on Brigitte’s workshops, please email her at bbenchy@mindspring.com.

 

The inspiring Jadyn series is available for purchase right here at the Village!  Brigitte has even offered signed copies to our readers!  Simply send an email to julie@takesavillage.net, including which books you’d like to purchase, and your email address or phone number.  These books are a journey worth taking.

Posted in Behavior, Book Review, celebrating diversity, Creativity, Education, Teaching Compassion, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment