Category Archives: Community

Take Part! Take the Pledge to Protect our Babes from Bullying!

As the mom of two extremely gentle, somewhat shy little girls, I certainly worry about
Anti_bullyin_posterstheir exposure to peer pressure and bullying.  I feel extremely lucky that at age 7, my eldest has yet to seriously encounter these problems.  I hope to prepare her and her five year old sister, best I can, for the bleak possibilities.  There is only so much to be done on the home-front though.

They are well versed on “stranger-danger,” but when it comes to a child being the culprit or provocateur, there seem to be many more shades of gray.  I feel the need to understand why the bully is behaving in such a way, hoping we can  figure a way to help them and stop them from hurting others.  Unfortunately both psychology and optimism are rather ineffective when your kid is in the thick of it.

icict_bullying2I am a pacifist, and as much as I comprehend the importance of self-defense, I have a hard time teaching my kids to fight back at their tender ages.  But I will because I must.  My best approach thus far is to teach them about asserting themselves, an area where the elder falls short.  It takes a pep talk for her to order her own ice cream; what happens when she may be faced with a bully taunting her or chiding her into making a bad choice?

Take Part has created a pledge, asking us to do our part to curb this terrible epidemic that haunts its victims for life, often creating fear, depression, and anxiety – sometimes even leading to suicide.  This is certainly a movement we can all get behind!  Please click here to sign the pledge and support this important cause!

This a conversation worth having! What are your own fears or experiences when it comes to bullying? How do you feel we can best prepare our youth for these types of encounters?

image source:  Agência Fiocruz de Notícias
Thanks to TakePart for sponsoring today’s discussion!
Posted in Behavior, Bullying, Community, non-profit, Parenting Advice, social awareness, Teaching Compassion, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Turn and Face the Strange (and heartbreakingly unexpected) Ch-Ch-Changes

 

I’m not naive.  I knew full well that my life was going to change completely when I had my son.  I was totally prepared for sleepless nights, painful recovery, and drastic change in my social life; but I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for the loss of some very close friendships.  Sadly, it turns out that I have some childless friends that have adopted a very “US versus THEM” mentality.

I guess I was naive when I assumed that years of friendship would get us over that hurdle.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.  I’ve noticed a serious gap in some of my relationships and to say the least, I’m a little heart broken.  After all, I did help some of these pals get through some pretty difficult times.  Is it too much to expect that after years of friendship, they would be there to see me though the birth of my first child (or at least check up on me with a quick phone call)?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do have to admit that I am partly to blame.  My whole life (and every FB posting) has become all about my son.  In their defense, they probably can’t relate to me anymore.

Luckily, I have also noticed that my friendships with those that do have children have grown even stronger.  Honestly, I’m not sure I would have made it through the first few months of parenthood without them.  I had no idea what havoc my hormones would reek on my sanity.  Without the constant reassurance from my friends that what I was feeling was normal, I would have probably lost it. Really, who’s to say that I didn’t?  Kidding. Totally kidding.

I guess it takes major life changes to help you weed out the petty, superficial things and relationships that really don’t work for you anymore.  While it is undoubtedly painful to come to the realization that some of these friendships have become petty and superficial, I can only look to the future to help heal those wounds.

In the end, it’s been an interesting transition.  I’m finding myself forging new friendships for myself and my son.  Thanks to “Mommy and Me” classes, I’ve managed to meet a few moms that have babies around the same age as my boy.  The relationships are still pretty new and we are all on our best “mommy” behavior. Who knows?  Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a few cocktail swilling, naughty joke telling mammas to pass the time with and help make up for my losses.  After all, those other friendships didn’t happen overnight either.  I guess only time will tell.  I’ll keep you posted…

 

Posted in Adjusting to Parenthood, Community, Learning Experience, Loss, Memories, Mental Health, New Baby, parent-child activities, Parenting Advice, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sandy Hook: Let this be a turning point…

Of course we all know of the monstrous events that took place in Newtown, Connecticut on Friday.  As a nation we collectively weep, ache, and pray for peace for those who were lost and those who survive them.

I don’t believe it is truly possible to empathize with the families who lost loved ones at Sandy Hook Elementary that day.  I cannot fathom what they are feeling.  The pain will not go away, but with time they will get used to its presence.

There must be a cure to such shocking, incorrigible acts of violence in our society.  But there is not just one easy answer.  I don’t know how we arrived in a place that such news has become commonplace, but I fear that the population may lose their fury for change as time goes on.  We cannot allow this.

It is our responsibility as parents and caregivers to ensure that we continue a productive conversation, and push for change so that our children can learn and grow in a positive and safe environment.

We must look within ourselves, within our morals, and within the bounds of our culture for the means to create a more compassionate community.  A place where people are never so ostracized that they act out in violence, a place where it is not so easy to get weapons, and a place where we can provide help to those in need without stigma or judgement.

While there are no words to adequately express our sorrow for the victims and their families, as parents, Americans, and humans our hearts pour love onto those who have suffered and those who still do.

Rest in Peace

Charlotte Bacon, 6                                        

Rachel D’Avino, 29

Olivia Engel, 6                                              

Dylan Hockley, 6

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47                          

Jesse Lewis, 6

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6                                  

Grace McDonnell, 7

Anne Marie Murphy, 52                                 

Emilie Parker, 6

Noah Pozner, 6                                          

 Jessica Rekos, 6

Lauren Rousseau, 30                                     

Mary Sherlach, 56

Victoria Soto, 27                                        

Daniel Barden, 7

Josephine Gay, 7                                          

Madeleine Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6                                  

Chase Kowalski, 7

James Mattioli, 6                                        

Jack Pinto, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6                                      

Avielle Richman, 6

Benjamin Wheeler, 6                                    

Allison Wyatt, 6

 

 

 

Posted in Behavior, Child Advocacy, Community, Discipline, Loss, Memories, Mental Health, School, social awareness, Teaching Compassion, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Youth Wellness Network Showcase

At a young age I was influenced and encouraged to follow belief systems and paradigms that turned out to be limiting and self-destructive.  They came from many different sources including my parents, teachers, communities, and even society as a whole.  The older I got the more I realized that I was not alone – many of my peers had been taught very similar beliefs and as a result we all began living a life that we thought we should be living. It wasn’t until I had a breakdown at the age of 19 and was faced with some very challenging circumstances that I started to realize the life I had been living was not truly my own.  I had become a product of my conditioning and my surroundings and if I was going to survive, something had to change!

As I started to learn different strategies, tools, and new life philosophies I began to question many things.  What if instead of living my life the way others were or the way I had been taught I should live, how would things change if I was empowered to live the life I had always desired deep within?  I started to imagine what our world would look like if we all spread our wings and truly soared to our truest potential.

After spending many years learning to step into my own greatness and reclaiming my self-worth and self-esteem, I created the Youth Wellness Network so I could help inspire and empower youth all over the globe going through similar challenges that I faced. I thought to myself, if I can live a happy, healthy and positive life and still be considered successful by society’s standards, then others can too!

Today, my desire is to provide support, inspiration and resources for youth of all ages to become well-rounded individuals. When I was going through my transformation and breaking free from my own limiting belief systems, there was no accessible and relate-able resources I felt I could turn to that would support my process of finding and becoming my authentic self.  Luckily for me, my father went through a huge transformation a year prior to my breakdown and became my one source of encouragement and support.  But many others aren’t as privileged as I was.

Thus, the Youth Wellness Network is here to do just that; we provide youth, parents, educators and communities with the appropriate tools to assist them in the process of living healthier, more positive lives.  We create and implement wellness programs within schools, and organizations all over North America. We work together with administration and educators to provide the most relevant program that meets their school’s / organization’s needs and the needs of their youth.

Some of the main issues we address with our programs are stress, anxiety, bullying, self-esteem, uncertainty of self and future, and emotional/mental health.  Our goal is to help youth as well as adults understand the root of these pressing issues, so they can ultimately extinguish them instead of simply covering them up with a band aid solution.

Our hope is that once we teach and provide the tools, that the individuals will be able to create sustainable positive change in their own lives and the lives of those in their communities. We believe that by empowering our next generation to become confident, kind, and compassionate individuals who live with integrity and purpose, they will spark an even bigger change in our society creating a ripple effect of positive change all over the world!

In addition to working alongside youth, we also provide programs for parents, educators, and any adult who have youth in their lives.  We offer workshops for teachers to help reduce their stress and better manage their energy levels, while providing appropriate techniques to reduce the stress levels in their classrooms.  Our more extensive teacher training program is called Empowered Education, where we teach the teachers to infuse principles of empowerment instead of control into their educating process.  Educators will then become a source of genuine support for their students, and be able to establish a secure environment for each student to thrive.

Our programs for parents are based around creating a more balanced and harmonious relationship with their children and teenagers.  We emphasize on the importance of having conscious relationships surrounded by compassion and based on the principles of empowerment and understanding perspective.  We offer presentations and training to give parents the tools to gain a better understanding of what their children are going through and how to communicate and interact from a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.  As a part of our mission in educating parents, educators and anyone who works with youth, I have recently written a book, co-authored with my father Jeffrey Eisen. The book is entitled, Empowered YOUth: A Father and Son’s Journey to Conscious Living, which is published by Hay House and is now available anywhere books are sold.  This book provides a more in-depth perspective on how parents and children, adults and youth can come together and build a stronger, longer-lasting relationship based on understanding, mutual respect and empowerment. It serves as blueprint for bridging the gap between adults and youth in our society.

If we are all going to come together to empower the next generation we ALL need to live the most empowered version of ourselves first. The days of “do as I say, not as I do” are completely over.  If you are a parent, educator, or an adult who has children, teenagers, or young adults in your lives, you need to lead by example!  The first step to making long lasting positive change in this world is to start with YOURSELF!

Michael Eisen’s Bio:

Michael Eisen is an inspirational speaker, author and the founder of the Youth Wellness Network (YWN), an organization dedicated to inspiring and empowering youth across the globe to live happier and more positive lives. YWN specializes in creating and implementing wellness programs in schools and organizations, while providing additional programs and training online. After positively transforming his own life at the age of 19, Michael is now on a lifelong crusade to share with other young people the principles, strategies, and practices that gave him the strength to start living a more joyful and healthier life. He contributes a fresh, young, authentic voice to the field of wellness, and is rapidly becoming a youth-wellness expert. Michael’s first book, Empowered YOUth: A Father and Son’s Journey to Conscious Living, co-authored with his father Jeffrey Eisen and published by Hay House is now available for purchase online and everywhere books are sold. To learn more about Michael and the Youth Wellness Network, visit www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca.

Posted in Book Review, Community, Guest Author, non-profit, Parenting Advice, social awareness, Teaching Compassion | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Value of Vulnerability

Becoming a mother is a life-changing event for most people and usually women don’t

Mary Cassatt, Mother and Child

know exactly what to expect. Many times you imagine your life as a mother based on stories you have heard from other women, media, or relationship with your own mother.  You hear about the joys of motherhood, you hear about the changes in your relationships, you may even hear about how big of a transformation motherhood could be.

            It is not always though, that you hear the depths of how intense it is to devote yourself so deeply to another human being.  Mothering is truly a deep practice of patience and compassion.  Being able to nurture your children in such a way can be completely depleting at times. This is hard for most mothers to admit to one another.

            Mothering is a practice of constant balancing and making sure not just the basic survival needs of the children are getting met, but also the physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  Day in and day out of problem solving, nurturing and giving so much of yourself can be quite a task.

   It seems there is always a certain amount of self-doubt and guilt that mothers carry. The job of raising a child seems so much more important than anything else that you have done in your life. This is a living being and you are responsible for the outcome. Wow, that is a really a heavy statement to endure!  The truth is that there is no such thing as perfection.  As much as you strive to achieve it, it is unattainable and yet most mothers have the constant pressure of “getting it right”.

            The problem is that there is so much shame about admitting what may be difficult. It is so important for mothers to not only discuss milestones that their children are reaching or what is on sale at the mall, but also to talk about challenges and the parts of motherhood that aren’t always pleasant.

            It seems that vulnerability is so undervalued in our society that it prevents mothers from having true community. Although, being truthful about these difficulties can bring about real connection between women.  This level of connection is essential when raising children. You cannot form community without people really knowing all parts of yourself, both good and bad. First though, you need to accept and honor those parts of yourself.

            If you have no real community as a mother, it is easy to fall right into a depression.

Elizabeth Catlett (1915), I Am The Negro Woman

It is easy to believe that you may not be doing things “right”.  The more you allow yourself to be vulnerable and really connect about your process, the more confidence you will gain in the long run.  It is so important for mommies to have other mommy friends that you can share deeply with.

            So why is it so hard to be vulnerable?  The overwhelming idea of having to be a “perfect mother” may make you feel like you may judged if you admit your having trouble with certain aspects of mothering or your relationship. The truth is that the self-doubt, the trouble grappling to find your inner strength, and the persistence and ability to not give in are things that every mom experiences to some level. These are struggles that every human being experiences to some level.

            Why is that it may seem like mothering comes so easy for some?  Like when you are food shopping you may see another mom out with her four well-behaved children at her side.  So why do you struggle with bringing just one to the market? The truth is that  there are many different factors that come into play.  Children have different temperaments and frustration levels and so do mothers.

            Besides, when you are out and see other mom’s with their kids, you are only seeing what is on the outside, on the inside you are probably having such similar struggles. Mother’s need to connect more about what is truly going on in their lives, the good, the bad and everything in between. Deep connections can bring about more health and well-being not only to mom, but also to the whole family.

            Five rules for mothers to live by:

1)   Find a best friend that is also a mother.  Someone you can express your darkest feelings to and know they won’t judge you. Talk, talk, and keep talking.

2)   Know there is no such thing as perfection.  Try your best, and accept where you are.

3)   Find something you love to do and do it as often as possible.  Nurture yourself and don’t expect anyone else to do it for you.

4)   Be honest with yourself, know your limits, and honor them.  Try not to take on more than you can handle.

5)   Mother your children by your own family values and nobody else’s.

Posted in Ask the Experts, Community, Mental Health, Parenting Advice, social awareness, Villagers | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment