Turn and Face the Strange (and heartbreakingly unexpected) Ch-Ch-Changes

 

I’m not naive.  I knew full well that my life was going to change completely when I had my son.  I was totally prepared for sleepless nights, painful recovery, and drastic change in my social life; but I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for the loss of some very close friendships.  Sadly, it turns out that I have some childless friends that have adopted a very “US versus THEM” mentality.

I guess I was naive when I assumed that years of friendship would get us over that hurdle.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.  I’ve noticed a serious gap in some of my relationships and to say the least, I’m a little heart broken.  After all, I did help some of these pals get through some pretty difficult times.  Is it too much to expect that after years of friendship, they would be there to see me though the birth of my first child (or at least check up on me with a quick phone call)?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do have to admit that I am partly to blame.  My whole life (and every FB posting) has become all about my son.  In their defense, they probably can’t relate to me anymore.

Luckily, I have also noticed that my friendships with those that do have children have grown even stronger.  Honestly, I’m not sure I would have made it through the first few months of parenthood without them.  I had no idea what havoc my hormones would reek on my sanity.  Without the constant reassurance from my friends that what I was feeling was normal, I would have probably lost it. Really, who’s to say that I didn’t?  Kidding. Totally kidding.

I guess it takes major life changes to help you weed out the petty, superficial things and relationships that really don’t work for you anymore.  While it is undoubtedly painful to come to the realization that some of these friendships have become petty and superficial, I can only look to the future to help heal those wounds.

In the end, it’s been an interesting transition.  I’m finding myself forging new friendships for myself and my son.  Thanks to “Mommy and Me” classes, I’ve managed to meet a few moms that have babies around the same age as my boy.  The relationships are still pretty new and we are all on our best “mommy” behavior. Who knows?  Maybe I’ll get lucky and find a few cocktail swilling, naughty joke telling mammas to pass the time with and help make up for my losses.  After all, those other friendships didn’t happen overnight either.  I guess only time will tell.  I’ll keep you posted…

 

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3 Responses to Turn and Face the Strange (and heartbreakingly unexpected) Ch-Ch-Changes

  1. Rajina says:

    Love this post Steph. This is so dang true. Kinda sad. The whole homies for life is out the window when you have kids. They’ll be back though after they have their own. You are an amazing momma and awesome friend. It’s their loss.

  2. Holly says:

    Now I feel guilty about losing contact with some close friends who started a family way earlier than me. Maybe I was scared to be around them because my life wasn’t any where near ready and I was envious of what they had. Sorry old friends. I’m sure the second I have a baby I’ll be calling and asking you what the hell to do. I wouldn’t blame you if you laughed and pressed ignore.

  3. Dannielle silas says:

    I just read it Stephanie and like Rajina said it’s but true..Your son is so cute and its their lost. Being a mom is hard work and I wouldn’t change it for anything..Dannielle

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