To state the obvious, New Year’s takes on a whole new meaning once you have children. It’s not just a different type of celebration ~ no more pounding bottles of Remy Martin or whatever and drunkenly wandering the streets in the earliest hours of next year’s eerie quiet. Those can’t be my memories alone, can they?
Years of being told that time speeds as we age truly catch up with us when we have kids. I can’t believe it’s been a year since the last ball dropped. I can’t believe my baby girl is about to turn 4.
Because of the clock’s seeming rapidity, I made some early resolutions. The most important being to be more present in my girls’ lives. Not to say I was ever uninvolved ~ one of my weekly highlights is volunteering in the first grade. I help with homework, read tons of books, go to the park, and pretend to be everything under the sun.
What I’ve cut back on is multi-tasking. It works at every other time, in our fast paced society, but I will no longer allow myself to half-listen to a day’s preschool drama because I am too involved with texting or scoring points in “Words with Friends”. My daughters deserve my undivided attention and since my time with them is divided due to joint custody, my attention must not be.
I’m looking forward to a mellow, cuddly celebration this evening and watching the ball drop east coast time so we can all be asleep long before the break of 2012′s dawn.
Happy New Year everyone and here’s to giving our kids what they deserve…. our whole selves!
Feeling run down after the holiday mayhem? I discovered these great low-sugar vitamin drinks after recovering from the flu last season. Oxylent is like Emergen-C times a thousand. These award-winning vita-drinks are even available in a prenatal formula and a children’s version that my six year old loves.
Not only does a packet contain a day’s worth of recommended vitamins and minerals, but it also provides oxygenating enzymes that convert toxins into water and oxygen, improving cellular health. This vitamin drink also provides B vitamins and amino acids for rejuvenation and circulation. Good for you all around!
Oxylent is also chock full of electrolytes which control fluid balance, hydrating your body, especially important after exercise, illness, or a night of partying ~ keep this on hand for New Year’s Morning! This stuff is a serious hangover helper.
SAVE
Just in time for some champagne toasts, a friend at Vitalah, the maker of oxylent has offered Takes a Village readers a discount on their great tasting product, available in several yummy flavors.
Order anything from Oxylent’s website and receive 10% off by entering the code VILLAGEOXYLENT at checkout through 3/14/2012. Your body won’t be sorry!
TAV Reader: We’ve taught our children to share. Now that my daughter is in elementary school we’ve found a grey area. The children are allowed to bring snacks for recess and I always pack one for my child. However, many other children don’t bring their own snacks and expect to eat my daughter’s snack. Some of them ask politely, some not so much. Either way my daughter feels pressured and obligated to share and ends up with very little snack for herself. She’s even asked me to pack more snacks for the other kids! I told her this is their parents’ job and she should tell the kids to bring their own so they can all share, but it hasn’t changed a thing. How can I teach her that it’s not her responsibility to feed her classmates without contradicting the idea that sharing is a virtue?
Merriam: Teaching children to share is one of parenting’s greatest natural challenges. It goes against a child’s natural survival instinct and her natural developmental stage of being me-centered. So if your child is feeling compelled to share, you should congratulate yourself on your successful cultivation of her empathy.
That being said, sharing food at school is a different story. For numerous reasons, including food allergies, nutrition plans, germ spreading, and the very challenges your daughter is facing, most schools have a no-sharing policy – although it is difficult to enforce and rarely policed.
I would encourage you to approach her teacher with her dilemma. If she is a good teacher, it should provide for a terrific teachable moment for the class on when it is and is not appropriate to share, while reminding the class of the no-food sharing policy. If there is no policy at her school, her teacher should still be able to help you.
At the very least, you can empower your daughter by suggesting she tell her friends that “my mommy doesn’t allow me to share my food anymore, but you can come for a playdate and have a snack at my house sometime.” If she is uncomfortable saying that, another option is to put a little extra in a separate container which can be her “sharing container” – once it is empty, sharing is over. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Please send your own questions to our resident experts, Melissa and Merriam at experts@takesavillage.net!. Check out their bios for more info on their credentials.
Some people really love Christmas. They eat, drink, shop, sing, and wear the holiday for all twelve days and then some. Thank goodness for the rest of us; their really ugly sweaters often end up at the local thrift shop. Who’d want to pay full price, even if it is party attire? After all, half the thrill is in the hunt!
The soar in popularity of Ugly Christmas Sweater parties, has a simple basis: it is a fun, wholesome idea. Whether it be a fundraiser, office party, pub crawl, or family event, it’s hard not to have fun when you are decked out in a ridiculously festive get up.
These galas have become so hip that an entire website and book now pay them homage. Brian Miller, Adam Paulson, and Kevin Wool (aka Team Ugly) are the fellas so devoted that they bring us both. Ugly Christmas Sweater Book, published by Abrams Image not only gives a detailed history of these annual fests, but also gives very detailed instructions on how to throw one.
From musical advice (strictly Christmas tunes) to game ideas to recipes, these guys got you covered. They’ve even arranged for your following morning’s hangover with instructions to make a cocktail called “Everyone Gets Blitzened”. This drink includes peppermint and apple schnapps and strawberry Boone’s Farm Wine among other mixers, alcoholic and not. My head pounds just reading the list!
Authors in Ugly Sweaters
This how-to also serves as a great holiday coffee table conversation piece. The Ugly Christmas Sweater Hall of Fame is a fun page-turner, with amusingly sardonic names attributed to each garment. I particularly enjoyed Wreath Witherspoon and Festive ‘N’ Fugly.
With a mini- 7 x 7 square layout, this book doesn’t overwhelm as a larger version might and retails for a reasonable $16.95, perfect for a Secret Santa gift in the under twenty bucks category! Whether you’re looking for true advice on how to host an ultra-festive holiday bash or you’re looking for a clever gift idea, you can purchase this super merry guide directly through Abrams, or at many other online and brick & mortar locales.
Enter to Win!
Abrams Image is kindly gifting two lucky Takes a Village Readers each their very own copy of the Ugly Christmas Sweater Book! Get an early start to next year’s season or regift at the last possible moment!
To enter simply comment below with a clever name for an ugly Christmas sweater, suitable for the Hall of Fame.
Recently, at a local farmer’s market, I came across a vendor selling Ginger-Honey Tonic, among other wholesome deliciousness. Short on cash, I decided to buy some more exotic items from the stand and to experiment at home with making my own syrup.
Happy to say, I made the right move. This stuff is so easy to make and as it turns out- it has endless benefits and uses. Honey, you see, has antiseptic, antibiotic, and antimicrobial properties ~ good for you inside and out ~ it even speeds the recovery of wounds! It also has the more obvious benefit of coating a raw scratchy throat and since it is so sweet, even most kids will gladly take this “medicine.” I like to use local honey, obviously to support community beekeepers, but also because it is known to help with allergies. I believe that the ingestion of pollens native to your area helps your body develop an immunity to them; some disagree, but in my experience it seems to work!
Now, ginger is commonly known as a great digestif and helpful for all sorts of belly maladies. Lesser known, is that ginger also works as an expectorant and helps with congestion and breathing issues.
So, when you go to your local pharmacy and read the bottles of cough and cold medicine chock full of a bunch impossible-to- pronounce mystery ingredients; what benefits do these products allege to provide? Decongestant, expectorant, throat and cough soother. Why swallow a mysterious chemical concoction when you can get the same results from delicious natural ingredients?
Easy Make-Your-Own Honey Ginger Syrup:
Ingredients: Honey, Ginger, Water.
1. Scrub your ginger under warm water til nice and clean. No need to even peel it! Chop into medium to large chunks and toss into a stock pot. Cover with water by a couple of inches.
2. Bring water to boil and then simmer, covered for at least a few hours. I’d imagine the longer it boils, the higher the concentration of ginger.
3. Strain ginger, squeezing out the juices.
4. Add ginger water to a jar or so of honey. Depending on how sweet and thick you want the syrup, you can eye it and make to taste.
5. Allow mixture to cool and then refrigerate, shaking a couple times daily for a few days and then before each use.
Easy as that! I made a couple large batches and have been taking a teaspoonful here and there for my immunity. This syrup is amazing served hot as tea; throw in a green tea bag to boost the antioxidants! It also makes for excellent homemade ginger ale when mixed with bubbly water.
This could make a great holiday gift in a pretty bottle or jar tied with a bow… oops may have ruined my surprise for next year!
We live in a fast paced world. You can get everything from coffee to your dry cleaning through a drive-thru window. We live in a high tech super speed society. We put the same fast paced demands on our children. We want them to walk early and talk early. We want them to be the smartest and the fastest child in preschool. We want them to learn to read before they enter kindergarten.
When you have a child with special needs all the normal timelines don’t apply to you. You quickly realize that the words fast and first don’t fit into your vocabulary.
What you do learn is this: you learn to STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES. When you have to wait years for your child to walk, you appreciate all the little baby steps along the way. When you have to wait years and years for your child to speak their first words, you learn to appreciate every utterance made along the journey.
In the special needs world I cherish everything that my son does. In the typical world the things that I praise him for are already expected for a child his age. I don’t mind; they are all victories to me.
The greatest lesson I have learned is to stop and smell the roses. I have learned to slow down and appreciate all the things that my son does. All of his accomplishments are celebrated be they big or small. I have learned to celebrate the little things in life.
I am not worried if my son will win the race, I am just happy if he gets out and runs.
I don’t care that my son didn’t walk until he was 2 years old, because he walks now.
I don’t care if my son can’t tie his own shoes; at least he has two feet to put them on.
I don’t care if my son didn’t’ speak clearly until he was 3, he can talk just fine now.
I don’t care if my son doesn’t have perfect vision, because he looks great in his glasses!
You know what I do care about?
I care about living in the moment with my child. This is what my son does without even trying. It is such a beautiful quality that he possesses. He lives for the moment. He isn’t thinking to himself about whether or not he could ride that bike last week, he is just thinking about peddling his feet right now. He isn’t thinking about the words he couldn’t articulate last week. He is just thinking about sounding them out now, placing his tongue exactly where it needs to be in his mouth and sounding out that utterance for his therapist.
If you talk to a thousand special needs parents they would all tell you the same thing. Enjoy your child; enjoy the little things, slow down…STOP TO SMELL THE ROSES. These are all lessons we have learned from our “exceptional” children.
The term “living vicariously through your kids” probably conjures up images of dads in fist fights at peewee football league games. Or perhaps, you envision mothers dressing and making up their toddler girls to look like grown women and parading them onstage. Presumably these parents, attempting to live out the unfulfilled dreams of their youth, are now subjecting their kids to whatever they missed out on, with potentially, appalling results…..But is there another side to the coin? What if living vicariously through your kids can actually be a healthy way to engage BOTH of you? And used properly, a tool to increase general health, respect, love and comraderie between parents and kids.. Well I’m here to say it can be so.
The seed for this idea was planted, as I pondered a way to get my husband back in the water. As a youth my husband was a phenomenal surfer. He was sponsored, competed, and won all over the California coast. However, life sometimes gets in the way of dreams, and talent. When he started his career in the studios at 18, he put down his surfboard and never looked back. As time went on, he lost the interest/confidence to get back in the water. But I kept hearing from others and sometimes him, repeatedly, how amazing he used to be and I wanted to see for myself…
The “lightbulb” went off when I saw my husband skateboard. He’s a typical Cali boy. He grew up surfing sidewalks as much as the actual water, and he is a highly skilled skater. One day he picked up an old skateboard and went outside with our daughter to show her how to stand on the board. Once he peaked her interest, he picked her up and started rolling, to her delight. I decided right then and there that we were all getting skateboards for Christmas. I myself started skating at 17. I was never great, but I can definitely hold my own at the skate park. I havent seriously skated since college, but why not? Why can’t we all go to the skate park as a family?
The next avenue for living vicariously through my kids came when I was considering lessons or classes my daughter and I could take together that would be fun for both of us and, perhaps less inherently dangerous than skateboarding! As any 2 1/2 year old will, my daughter is beginning to experiment with and understand the power behind, her voice. This revelation can be hilarious and adorable, or as all parents know, it can be downright awful. Personally, I LOVE to sing. As a child I performed at the Kennedy Center and Wolf Trap, with various children’s choirs. However, life – and maybe even more so – insecurity, often get in the way of dreams and passion, and I never pursued singing seriously. So, I decided to sign us up for voice lessons.
When I contacted a local, voice coach he mentioned that because my daughter is so young I would need to attend lessons with her. I laughed and said “Of Course I’ll be there, you’re going to be teaching me too!!” He was thrilled! The voice coach explained that its fantastic to be encouraging a serious interest in music at an early age, but also, by including myself, I am encouraging my daughter’s participation, because Mommy is making it cool! He went on to say that when kids are taken to music lessons they’re typically dropped off, picked up, then shuffled off to practice, alone. Left to their own devices the child may stop practicing and pick up, for example, a video game instead. But with their parent(s) participating, the child wants to emulate and engage with their mom or dad. Practice becomes a fun activity that’s interesting for both of you.
I’ll actively pursue activities, like singing, skating, art, karate, with my kids that I wish I’d done more of when I was young, because I hope my own enthusiasm will be infectious. By being directly involved, I hope to be both a peer and a leader. I want to be friends with my kids, but I also want to be a leader whom they respect and listen to. I believe I can lead, inspire and engage them by participating alongside them in these kinds of activities and more.
When they see me practice vocal techniques or fall down on my skateboard, get up, and try again, I am embodying the example I want to set, and living the lessons we all want our kids to learn- Hard work and practice will pay off- Dont give up just because you fall down or, are not an expert the first time you try something..Plus and SO important, its not necessarily the destination, but the journey that is the most valuable in life.
"Dude that old lady's pretty sick on mini ramp! " "Yup, thats my mom." "Whoa!"
When the time comes to step back and let my kids shine, it’ll be my absolute pleasure. After all, I WANT to be the Mom beaming in the stands, as I proudly exclaim: “Thats MY girl/boy!” But, I also want to show my kids it’s never too late to pursue a passion and have fun in life. Being an adult doesn’t mean being a bore and I’d rather be at the skatepark trying to reclaim my youth than at a Botox appointment.
By involving myself in my kids’ pursuits, I’m showing my support and interest in what they’re doing and ultimately, in them. I’m encouraging them to pursue their own passions, hone their talents and skills, and teaching them not to give up. I hope in this way, I’m able to instill the confidence they’ll need to persevere and thrive in all aspects of their lives.
Perhaps the greatest benefit to all this interaction is that, the time we’ll share together will be priceless. But you never know, maybe I’ll simply encourage them not to give up on their passions as kids so they dont have subject their own children to an embarrassing parent trying to reclaim their lost youth. Only time will tell….
I’ve encountered a case of writer’s block every so often. It is no fun, I tell you. Sometimes we all need little springboard for our thoughts, our creativity. Although this is much less of a problem for the extraordinarily active minds of children, it is nice to add a little spark to their flaming furies of imagination.
When I see that one of my daughters has developed a new interest, I must immediately fuel that fire and watch it grow. My girls have always had their own style (for better or for worse on some days!) and started choosing their own outfits at a very young age. So, it didn’t surprise me when my eldest recently told me she wants to be a “fashion lady” when she grows up and my younger daughter has been proclaiming herself an artist for months.
Laurence King Publishing has produced the perfect igniters for both of their passions! For my little Vivienne Westwood, I present My Even More Wonderful World of Fashion, by Nina Chakrabarti. Obviously a follow-up to her first successful title, this awesome activity book provides my little stylist with tons of extraordinary starting points for fashion design and more! At 240 pages, there are hours of fun projects, such as drawing a headdress for Cleopatra, inventing patterns for various articles of clothing, and tons more!
Creator/ illustrator, Chakrabarti, also includes clever ideas for outside these pages. She suggests embellishing a coin purse with trinkets in the custom of designer Judy Blame or turning “ordinary curtain tassels into a splendiferous belt”! With illustrations ranging from minimalist to extremely detailed this grand starting point is both influential and inspirational. Although this book is aimed at age 8, my six year old has been having a blast designing and coloring these pages.
Chakrabarti, whose clients include both French Connection and Vogue has not left the education out of this title. I love that she has referenced cultural, historical, and iconic references. Your child can design a hat inspired by Princess Leia’s hair, color a spread featuring all that was hip in the 1960′s, and be mesmerized by the intricacies of bridal dress in Djibouti, Africa, all at the turn of a page! Talk about multi-tasking! For easily shared inspirations, there is also a mini-version of 30 detachable postcards featuring her illustrations!
Now, for my little Louise Bourgeois, Laurence King has also published Marion Deuchars‘ Let’s Make Some Great Art. Deuchars created this masterpiece of an activity book to keep her own five and six year old sons stimulated sans computer. My daughter is younger (almost 4) but the beauty of this book is not lost her. She enjoys learning about the different styles of the featured artists, including Paul Klee (his line drawings are a favorite!) and Rene’ Magritte. I say it’s never too early for art!
Deuchars is not surprisingly, an award winning illustrator. Her sketches are fun and enticing, leaving my girl motivated and curious. Super fun activities include fingerprint and handprint animals, making a cubist portrait via collage, drawing with an eraser, and a myriad more!
I sincerely thank both illustrators for helping my daughters to think outside the box (both the metaphorical one and the one with a screen). They both have chosen these activities over the television on multiple occasions! All books are available for purchase on Laurence King Publishing’s website.
you have children. It’s not just a different type of celebration ~ no more pounding bottles of Remy Martin or whatever and drunkenly wandering the streets in the earliest hours of next year’s eerie quiet. Those can’t be my memories alone, can they?
